To relax your daughter’s hair, or not?

Jada after her hair was straightened, before her recital.

I am a firm believer that you never miss what you don’t have, which is the main reason I decided I would never relax my daughter Jada’s hair. Her curls are beautiful, natural – and most importantly virgin. She has never had a relaxer and her hair has only been straightened a handful of times. However sometimes it is difficult to explain to others that her hair doesn’t need to be straightened, chemically or otherwise!

The first time Jada got her hair straightened was for her recital when she was only 3 years old. It was mandatory for her to wear her hair, half up and half down.(How unfair). We were only one of 5 african american families in her dance studio, so only few felt our pain. The five mothers all complained about the style but nothing changed. Why the standard bun wasn’t used is beyond me. All I know is that I spent 2 hours washing, combing an flat ironing my baby’s hair. All to appease a group of people that I pay to help me.The irony.

Back to the curls for Jada!

After it was all said and done, Jada’s hair was in the correct style and she turned and looked in the mirror in horror. She wanted her “puffy” hair back. She didn’t like the straight her and I was relieved yet horrified. What did I do to my child and why didn’t I stand my ground? Will she always want it straight? Will she not be able to dance? My mind raced and she made it through the entire dance number. After that moment, I decided that it is never neccesary or appropriate to feel forced into changing her hair texture. Now she is 6 years old, she rocks the “afro puffs” and sometimes a ”twist out”. We only straighten for an occasional length check. She appreciates her hair, one more year and she will be the age I was when I recieved my first relaxer. I am determined not to repeat the chemical cycle.

  • Tiana B.

    This is really awesome – great perspective!

  • JeuTonya Tuggle

    That’s really great !!! I have son’s however, If I had girls I would fel the same. As an adult I only flat Iron my hair never needed a relaxer. Jada is beautifullllll just the way she is and to me that is priceless…. xoxox

  • Nvbarrett75

    She is beautiful, I love natural hair,I have been natural for two years and I don’t miss straight hair at all